Today Abi started "officially" crawling (she's been "worming" her way around lately, which was extremely cute to watch!!). I can't believe my baby girl is already 7 months old... I can't believe I have a baby girl. I've dreamed of her for years. I longed for her. I loved her even before she existed. And now she's here, and she's the most loving little baby I've ever seen. Sometimes I just sit and stare at my babies. I can't believe how blessed I am.
Parenting is one of the most challenging things I've experienced. But the love force that comes with becoming a parent is overwhelming. Yes, sometimes I feel like the "Riddler", covered in question marks. clueless, not knowing what in the world I am doing. But I always remember the sweet words of a friend, after I pretty much puked all my questions on her:
"The Lord trusted you with their lives. He put Josiah and Abi in your family for a reason. He knew what kind of parents they would need."
These words brought such a relief in my heart. I still wonder, I still have tons of questions, I'm still trying to figure out my "parenting method". But deep down in my heart, I choose to believe that, if I cling onto Him, I can do this. I can be a great parent. I can be what they need. I can make them happy. But I can only do all these things in and through Him, who strengthens me. Only His wisdom can guide me. Only His love can carry me through. Only His grace can forgive my mistakes and protect their little hearts. I'm so thankful for them tonight. Writing this post made me miss them a lot. They're now in bed, so I guess I'll have to save all the hugs and kisses that I want to give them for tomorrow. =)